Boa Alcacer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
finalguard) wrote2018-06-10 01:00 am
finalguard) wrote2018-06-10 01:00 am
Entry tags:
Week 1 - Saturday Night - Mitsuru (small)
[ That trial was worse than expected. Though Boa didn't throw up this time, he still feels as if every part of his insides has been turned upside down. He knows people die. He's seen motionless bodies before. But he hasn't seen people be killed, he hasn't seen blood and bones and gore. This week is a novelty in that sense and it's doing a number on him.
Though Boa never considered himself someone with a strong sense of what 'home' is, he feels homesick.
After the trial, he moves away from the firepit, definitely due to a change of scenery, but then finds the thought of going back to his cabin too suffocating. In the end, he just sits down on the clearing, staring at nothing.
There's disgust inside him. Other than that, he feels strangely empty. ]
Though Boa never considered himself someone with a strong sense of what 'home' is, he feels homesick.
After the trial, he moves away from the firepit, definitely due to a change of scenery, but then finds the thought of going back to his cabin too suffocating. In the end, he just sits down on the clearing, staring at nothing.
There's disgust inside him. Other than that, he feels strangely empty. ]
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[...Heh.]
Red told me that if I stayed out of trouble, I'd be fine.
[It sounded fake as hell at the time, but now it's almost hilarious.]
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Red says a lot of things.
[ Listen, Boa didn't think she was telling the truth about nobody dying, but even he expected the shed to at least be involved. ]
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[Wonderful.]
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[ He clenches his fist again, not sure if in anger or if he's just trying to drown his fear in physical tension. The adults aren't just useless, they're dangerous. ]
We have only ourselves. Our very selves. The group is.. Everyone wants to live, and that means for others to die.
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[On the information front, at least. He isn't bothered as much by them being threats because realistically - everyone's a threat at this point.]
Though I'm sure you're planning your survival, too.
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[ How could he not? Eddie's been saying a lot of things about sticking together and Boa had never believed him, he just... well, now he really knows its just fantasies. ]
I can't die here. There are things I want to accomplish.
[ Pause. ]
It doesn't mean anything, because we could all be lying, but even if I went for a motive, it wouldn't be you.
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[He, too, has goals that urgently need completing. There's a mild pause at that last part however, and he glances Boa in a mild surprise.]
...Wasn't expecting that from you.
[Boa of all people seemed pretty willing to play ruthlessly. Then again, death did seem to affect him...]
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You're strong. I'd like to fight you at something fair, a proper competition, if there's an opportunity.
[ Here he could kill Mitsuru by touch or be killed by Mitsuru first, but what kind of competition is that? ]
Doing anything else would just feel hollow.
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Laughing. Just, a pure and simple laugh. The laugh of someone who's come across something unexpected, but not unpleasant.]
You know-- you sound a little like Kuro- like Ichigo.
[Not necessarily a bad thing? Just an amusing similarity.]
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... don't say that. [ He says it defensively, but not with a lot of gravity. ]
I'm not like that at all.
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[They had a tendency to give up immediately and assume he'd be victorious instead, which - fair.]
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'Most'? What challenges did you have before then?
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[...That's it. That's all he gives.]
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... I see. [ He's not going to pry. ]
Sounds like something worth surviving for.
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Yes. I was very close to completing it.
[And if he had, he could have at least gotten...]
Though I expect your own goals are related to that game of yours.
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... it almost seems shallow now. However, in my world it really was a matter of life and death for me.
And I don't want to give up on it either, not because of meddlers like Red and Dan.
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My magic has been an indispensable tool in surviving so far. [Vision isn't... precisely the safest place for an eleven year old to go tromping about. But that's also kind of the point.]
There are Travelers who have failed their Journeys before and simply decided to remain in that world peacefully - but I wouldn't be surprised if there are just as many who perished as well.
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I lived in a place called the Snake Pit. It was a bit of an urban legend, a secret training ground for the strongest Beybladers that nobody comes back from.
It really is a training facility that pushes you to the limits. You either become strong or you die trying, that's the kind of place it is. People don't die like.. like they do here... but there's been numerous other boys who were too weak to last.
[ Though none of the death there was as gory as the death here, Boa was entirely serious when he talked about risking his life as they first met. His thumb brushes over his Beyblade. ]
I've lived through it all and I got this bey, but that's not all I want to do. That's not the limit of how strong I want to become.
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That's a lot to go through for a sport.
[...One step up from game?]
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I take it seriously. [ I don't have anything else. ] And that's why, even if it seems strange here, I definitely want to get back to it.
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Then it sounds like we've both got all the reason to work to survive this.
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[ And without saying, he expects the same of himself.
Earlier this night, Richie had been trying to explain trust and allyship to him again, but this isn't being allies. It's having the same goal and refusing to back down until you reach it. Not a competition exactly, but.. Ah, why put it into words. ]
If this continues, we'll be at least 14 people down... That leaves 12 at most to leave unharmed... Of course, that is just the worst case in which we don't find a way out earlier.
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With their suppression of our powers, I don't know that I would bet on an early escape. It seems like this has been going on for quite some time.
If they brought us here, they're ready to contain and control us. Brute strength isn't an option.
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We've just seen what they're willing to do... Risking an escape before seemed worth it, but now it's not a risk I would take without better odds.
[ The cracking of Lilith's body under the moose hooves was hideous. ]
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[His eyes narrow. It still angers him, how easily she'd flung him like that. Less because of his dignity, but more because he had been so powerless.]
We'll have to be cautious. I'm sure the others will as well - if they're smart.
[...But then, they also had a number of shounens rushing the moose, so.]
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[ And he'd have had no problem voting them out for this reason either, it's just... weird. Sacrificing yourself for others like that is an alien thought.
Boa wants to live and die only for himself, he can't see how this just isn't important to other people. But what he does understand is that it took them all resolve. That, he can respect. ]
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[Yeah the shounens are dumb you heard it here first.]
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After a pause, Boa says: ]
Better for us, in the end.
[ That's the pragmatic thought of thinking that Boa thinks he should ideally exhibit. And he knows it's true, the dumber the others are about getting themselves killed, the longer he lives. It's just that the desire to not see anyone die like this again is too prominent on Boa's mind to make him feel any relief over this. ]
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[His tone remains neutral as always. He has something to live for. Like he'd give up his own life so easily.]
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[ Strength of will is not something Boa tends to associate with those who preach friendship, so it did impress him a bit. ]
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[...Hn. Something about that gets his gaze sinking to the ground.]
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Is something... wrong?
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It's incredibly foolish, that's all.