Week 1 - Saturday Night - Mitsuru (small)

[finalguard]

[ That trial was worse than expected. Though Boa didn't throw up this time, he still feels as if every part of his insides has been turned upside down. He knows people die. He's seen motionless bodies before. But he hasn't seen people be killed, he hasn't seen blood and bones and gore. This week is a novelty in that sense and it's doing a number on him.

Though Boa never considered himself someone with a strong sense of what 'home' is, he feels homesick.

After the trial, he moves away from the firepit, definitely due to a change of scenery, but then finds the thought of going back to his cabin too suffocating. In the end, he just sits down on the clearing, staring at nothing.

There's disgust inside him. Other than that, he feels strangely empty. ]

Comments

[finalguard]

I'm not... sure they will be. Self-preservation seems to not be everyone's priority.

[ And he'd have had no problem voting them out for this reason either, it's just... weird. Sacrificing yourself for others like that is an alien thought.

Boa wants to live and die only for himself, he can't see how this just isn't important to other people. But what he does understand is that it took them all resolve. That, he can respect. ]

[killtheanimals]

"If they're smart."

[Yeah the shounens are dumb you heard it here first.]

[finalguard]

[ Boa huffs in amusement at that, but it quickly fades. The night was too exhausting and full of disgusting things to hold any positive feeling for long.

After a pause, Boa says: ]

Better for us, in the end.

[ That's the pragmatic thought of thinking that Boa thinks he should ideally exhibit. And he knows it's true, the dumber the others are about getting themselves killed, the longer he lives. It's just that the desire to not see anyone die like this again is too prominent on Boa's mind to make him feel any relief over this. ]

[killtheanimals]

If they decide to lay down their lives for others, so be it.

[His tone remains neutral as always. He has something to live for. Like he'd give up his own life so easily.]

[finalguard]

If nothing else, they'd die standing for something. Even if that something is foolish.

[ Strength of will is not something Boa tends to associate with those who preach friendship, so it did impress him a bit. ]

[killtheanimals]

I suppose if it's the only thing they can think of using their lives for...

[...Hn. Something about that gets his gaze sinking to the ground.]

[finalguard]

[ Ah...? ]

Is something... wrong?

[killtheanimals]

[He closes his eyes, briefly shaking his head.]

It's incredibly foolish, that's all.