Week 4 - Saturday Night - Eddie & Richie

[finalguard]

[ Late that night, after the Stan talk has faded out and clothes have been burned, Boa pulls his two best friends aside. ]

We really need to talk. Privately somewhere.

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[finalguard]

[ He'll get up to actually get moving, but... ]

... do I want to ask what joke I am missing here?

[itsagazebo]

[SO unimpressed. He's heard jokes like this a MILLION times before, man.]

He's trying to brag about the size of his dick.

[trashmouthtozier]

Don't need to try if it's true, Spaghetti.

[YOU LOVE HIM]

[finalguard]

[ ... and Boa turns red again. GOD. RICHIE. ]

Okay, that... yeah, I didn't want to ask.

[itsagazebo]

[Eddie just gestures towards Richie]

See?! You see what I have to put up with? Every. Single. Fucking. Day.

[trashmouthtozier]

What's the big deal? C'mon, we've all got one, Boa, you lived in a place called the Snake Pit for God's sake. Did nobody make a single dick joke? Are you all wangaphobic or something?

[finalguard]

No?!

[ THIS CONVERSATION IS TERRIBLE, HE WANTS OUT. WHERE CAN HE GO BACK TO HIS NICELY KIDDIE-FRIENDLY CANON. ]

Nobody ever--- Why did you say that? Now I'm thinking it!

[itsagazebo]

[Eddie double facepalms. Just. No. No.]

Shut up, Richie!

[trashmouthtozier]

What? I mean - come on. Seriously, these are classics. I've got to bring him up to speed so we can bring him back to Derry.

[because yep that's totally an offer he made]

[finalguard]

[ He's just going to be walking a bit faster than the other two on the way to the lodge so they don't see his face burning up, because this is EMBARRASSING. ]

... Eddie, tell me the rest of your friends don't all do this. Please.

[itsagazebo]

He's the worst of them, don't worry. There's a reason we call him Trashmouth.

[He smacks Richie's arm as they walk.]

Don't scare him away!

[trashmouthtozier]

Hey, I haven't yet! [he sticks his tongue out at Eddie and smacks him back]

Right, Boa? I'm just tryin'a be funny...!

[finalguard]

You're gross!

[ There is so much childish emphasis on the word that it's impossible to think of Boa as seriously mad. ]

But if you're the worst of them, I guess I've already been tested by fire anyway.